I wish I could tell you about a story of my life that proved that my faith was undeniably strong and that I never wavered in who God was. But that wouldn’t be true. I think that sometimes we look on social media, on blog posts, on YouTube channels and we see all the good parts. We show the world what God has done through achievements, marriage, babies etc. but something that I realized is that many people may not know the back story. The tears, the prayers, even the times we are standing before God completely doubting if he’ll come through for us or if he’s really as good as he says he is. The beauty in this is that our walks with God were never meant to look perfect. They were meant to refine us to become more like Christ.
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1
I hope that my story speaks to you.
In December 2017, I graduated a semester early with my bachelor’s degree in Public Health with a minor in Nonprofit Studies. The last semester of my college career was one of the most intense times of my life. So when I graduated and left school, I really got caught up in a season of silence. Although I had a big family at home to keep me occupied, I still believe that God had placed me in a position to learn to hear and trust his voice in the silence. As graduation passed I began to search for any opportunity for an internship that I could find but every single door kept closing. So I figured that God wanted me to rest and just be with him. I made a point with the Lord that I wanted to start something in March.
At the end of February, I was over a family friend’s house and they were discussing their upcoming mission trip to Benin, West Africa and the work they planned on doing during this time. My eyes lit up because I had wanted to go to Africa for a mission trip since I was 14 years old. They looked at me and said “Wait! Why don’t you come with us?” That night I went home and prayed a very simple prayer. “God if you want me to go on this trip open every door possible for me to go, Including financially. And if you don’t want me to go, close any potential door shut. “That night I didn’t realize that God was going to move in a miraculous way. The next few days were all a blur. I met up with the family to discuss how much I needed to raise and the amount of time that I had. I had to raise $3,000 in 4 weeks to cover my 2 month stay. I started to get nervous. What if I heard wrong? Will God actually come through for me like he said he would?
I started to write support letters to close family and friends and created a Gofund me page to share on all my social media sites. I think during this time I had an expectation that God would come through for me but I still doubted if he really would. I feel like this is where faith gets challenged. We know who God is and we know that God is good. But sometimes our lack of faith makes us really question if God’s goodness will follow us. I remember assembling all of my support letters and the song Miracles by Jesus Culture started playing in the background. The song goes like this “The one who made the blind to see is moving here in front of me. The one who made the deaf to hear is silencing my every fear. I believe in you. You’re the God of miracles.” After that song, I felt the Holy Spirit say, when you ask me to move miraculously, is your faith in me alone? I immediately turned to James 1:6 which says,
“But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waiver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.”
The first week passed and I raised over $500. I couldn’t believe my eyes. As I was gaining momentum I still questioned if I would reach what I needed. “What if I don’t get enough? Did God really tell me to go on this trip? Maybe I should just go back to my part time job. I won’t be making any money for two months is it worth it?” While all of these thoughts were looming in my head, the second week past and I got $1000. I was shook. I couldn’t believe the generosity of those around me. I continued to plead with the Lord. I spoke scripture over myself to remind myself of the promises God has for my life. Including John 14:12-13
“I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works because I am going to be with the father. You can ask for ANYTHING in my name and I will do it. So that the Son can bring glory to the father.”
Week three came and I was well over $2,000 to my goal. I stopped worrying. I started to realize that God wanted me to go on this trip and there was no turning back now. By week 4, I raised well over my goal. God provided more than enough. The rest is history!
I know that sometimes we go through life and it seems like God doesn’t move. And I’ve gone through many years of that. But I hope this testimony shows you that God still does the miraculous. He is still good even when it seems like he doesn’t hear us and he still answers when we call to him. He’s truly a God who gives us the desires of our hearts if we ask him and moves the miraculous when things seem impossible.